TDAS Re-write Finale part 2: The Final Wreck-Ening

(Cut back on the lava level; Gwen and Dawn are holding a ladder steady while Zoey slowly makes it across the lava; meanwhile Mal is holding Cameron over his head, flailing his arms and screaming. Courtney and Duncan surround Mal)

Duncan: hey! Put the geek down, Mal!

Mal: (Smirking) if you insist. (Tosses Cameron at Duncan, causing them both to fall onto the lower level, on the safe-ish ground)

Gwen: (Concerned) Duncan! Cameron!

(Zoey steps towards the left of the ladder, but the ladder suddenly catches on fire. Zoey and Gwen gasp)

Dawn: Zoey, hurry! (Zoey quickly sprints to the other side of the ladder, right to the safe-ish ground to the right, just as the ladder burns away)

Courtney: (Annoyed) hey! You cost us all the only way across, creep!! (Raises her arm and prepares to karate chop Mal, but Mal catches it) what the-!?

Mal: shall we dance? (Rams his back right into Courtney, sending her down below. Mal chuckles until a pale fist strikes him on the cheek) ow!

Gwen: (With her fists balled) Jerk! (Lands another punch in Mal’s stomach; prepares to throw another one, but Mal catches it, and squeezes her wrist, Gwen grunts in pain)

Mal: (Smirks) buh-bye!

Dawn: no!!

(Mal tosses Gwen below; she lands right on top of Duncan and Cameron)

Gwen: (Gasps) sorry, guys!

Duncan: (Grunts in pain) Didn’t… feel a thing. (Cameron groans)

(Noah and Owen paddle up on a slowly dissolving makeshift boat)

Owen: hey, guys; did we miss anything?

(Dawn’s scream is heard; everyone looks up to see that Mal is now holding Dawn over his head)

Dawn: (Struggling) I demand you release me at once, and LEAVE ZOEY BE, you beast!

Mal: nah! But, I WILL let you go… right into the toxic waste!! (Tosses Dawn; she starts plummeting towards the toxic waste… and more specifically towards Owen and Noah’s boat)

Noah/Gwen/Cameron/Zoey/Owen: (In horror) DAWN!!!!

(Owen quickly holds up Noah over his shoulders, while Noah’s arms shoot wide open)

Noah: I’ve gotcha, Dawn! I gotcha- (Similar to how Noah dive-bombed into Dawn in episode 4, Dawn dive-bombs straight into Noah’s arms. The force of the impact causes Owen to start wobbling and rocking the boat; the stern of the boat starts to catch fire) Owen! Get a move on! (Owen, still carrying Noah and Dawn, nervously leaps out of the boat onto the shore just as the boat breaks in two and sinks into the waste)

Mal: (Towards Zoey) I’m coming for you next! (Zoey screams and hastily climbs up the ladder leading to the next level; Mal chuckles and picks up a pogo stick, looking unimpressed) a pogo stick (Looks towards Chris), seriously?

Chris: (Through his megaphone) keep in mind, not all of these items were tested for safety.

Gwen: (Duncan helps her up) and by “not all” you mean none, right?

Chris: (Smiling mischievously) she knows me so well. (Doesn’t notice the intern with the ringing cell phone walking up behind him) each one is a death trap just waiting to… (Finally notices the intern, who presses a button on the cell phone and holds it up to Chris’ ear) …should I re-word that?

(Meanwhile, Alejandro and Heather get in a makeshift boat, similar to Owen and Noah’s, and push off with one of the sticks. Alejandro whistles as they float. Cut back to the others on the bottom level, Duncan and Cameron hold Gwen up)

Courtney: great! Thanks a lot Mike… or Mal… or WHOEVER YOU ARE!!! Now how are we supposed to win if he’s all the way up there!!!

Cameron: We’ve got bigger problems than that, Courtney! Zoey will never be able to beat Mal on her own!

Gwen: (A determined look on her face) Well I’M not giving up! I’ve wasted four seasons on this crappy show, but I did NOT carry my butt all the way to the finale just to let some skinny, creepy, villain wannabe beat Zoey and us! One of us is walking away from this island, and it's NOT GONNA BE MAL!!!!

Duncan: (Grins) Babe's got fire in her eyes!!

Gwen: so, let's kick some Mal bu- (Rubs ankle) ow!

Cameron: Gwen? What's wrong?

(At that moment, Heather and Alejandro pull up to shore, just as their boat sinks)

Heather: what’s wrong with you?

Gwen: (Hisses in pain) my ankle! I think I sprained it.

Courtney: oh my gosh; ok try and put a tiny bit of weight on it.

Gwen: (Steps slightly with her twisted ankle, squeaks in pain) ok yeah... that was stupid.

(Heather starts climbing the ladder)

Alejandro: (Without sympathy) a tragic tale, but we are not on the same team anymore, so we must leave you. (Climbs up after Heather)

Duncan: (Glares at them) yeah, thanks for all the help, Pal!

Cameron: we gotta keep moving!

Dawn: more still, we have to knock Mal out… literally!

Owen: huh? What do you mean?

Dawn: Mike’s aura screamed out to me! If we can knock Mal out, he’ll be forced back into his head, and Mike can regain control!

Noah: …remind me to thank your brain when this is all over, hon. (Dawn smiles)

Duncan: so to sum up, to get Mike back, we gotta clock Mal out?

Dawn: pretty much, yes.

Duncan: (Smirks evilly) oh I am ALL over that! If anyone’s gonna crown Mal, it’s gonna be me!

Gwen: (Smirks) fair deal!

Courtney: ok, all this sounds good IN THEORY, but how are we going to get back up top!? It’s not like we have a grappling hook that can just help us up there!

Owen: (He and Noah pull out two grappling hooks) you can borrow ours, Chris gave them to us so we could clean up top the remains of mount Chrismore …with our toothbrushes.

Noah: and as mentally stimulating as cleaning up the remains of another piece of Chris’ likeness is, I’d gladly give it up for the noble cause of shutting Mal up!

Courtney: (Awkwardly) and… now we do.

Duncan: (Grabs a grappling hook) sweet!

Gwen: (Grabs a grappling hook) Awesome! You guys are the best!!

(Confessional: Noah)

Noah: it’s a three-strike formula for me; strike one, he attacks Owen; strike two, he gets me voted off; strike three, he sets my girlfriend up for a fall… (Points thumb downward) you’re out, Mal.

(Confessional: Owen)

Owen: nobody pinks my belly, OR locks my little buddies in the corner… of the giant toilet!

(Confessional ends)

(Cut to the edge of the third moat, where Zoey has finally crawled up to the top)

Chris: (Over the loudspeaker) Zoey makes it to level 3!

Zoey: whoo-hoo!

Chris: Gwen has fallen in dead last!

Gwen: we’re working on it!

(On the lava moat, Mal is bouncing higher and higher on the pogo stick)

Chris: Mal better spring into action!

Mal: (Bouncing higher and higher) here… I… come!

(Finally he bounces so high, he’s actually higher than Zoey. He drops the pogo stick, and pounces at Zoey; Zoey screams as Mal pounces at her, sending them both in the water. Two hooks cling on to the edge; Gwen and Duncan’s heads pop up)

Gwen: (Gasps) Zoey!!

(Cut to underwater Mal is viciously trying to shove Zoey deeper underwater, until an arm shoots underwater, grabs Mal by the shirt and pulls him out of the water. Mal coughs a bit and looks up, noticing Duncan looking down at him)

Duncan: hey, buddy! (Punches his fist into his palm) I think it’s time we settled the score!

Mal: (Chuckles) oh, now you’re talking my language. (Stands up and cracks his knuckles) just you and me, Mr. Nice-Pants!

Duncan: (Cracks his own knuckles) bring it on, scarecrow. (Neither of them notices Courtney and Cameron helping Gwen into the water)

Gwen: ok, you guys keep an eye out for Fang, I’m gonna try to rescue Zoey!

Courtney: got it!

Cameron: good luck, Gwen. (Gwen holds her breath and dives under water)

(Meanwhile, Duncan and Mal both menacingly approach each other)

Mal: enough chitter-chatter, bad boy!

Duncan: (Stops in place) ladies first.

(Mal just sneers and raises his fist menacingly)

Cameron: Duncan, be careful!

Courtney: I never thought I’d say this but… Don’t die, Duncan!

Mal: adios, Duncey! (He launches his fist forward, hoping to knock out Duncan. But Duncan catches the fist in his hand, smirking) what the-?

(Duncan raises his other fist, and prepares to punch Mal back. He throws his fist, but Mal catches it, and the two are caught in each other’s hands. They start pushing each other back and forth, struggling to force each other either over the edge, or into the water)

Mal: (Chuckles) too bad you never stopped by my cell in Juvie, Duncan. I could’ve taught you a lot about being bad!

Duncan: yeah, see there’s a difference between being bad, and being a psycho.

Mal: whatever! You can’t beat me! I’m the ultimate villain! I’m the king of Juvie!

Duncan: (Unimpressed) big whoop, I survived actual jail. And dude, you got a lot to learn about the real world. Lesson one, the fake-out! (Raises his arms, and then kicks Mal backwards; Mal growls) Lesson two, the TAKE-OUT!!! (Thrusts his fist forward, clocking Mal on the face, and sending him straight into the water) and STAY DOWN, Mal!!

(Meanwhile, Gwen re-emerges from the water, holding Zoey up by her shoulders. They both gasp for air)

Zoey: Gwen… (Gasps) you saved my life!

Gwen: you helped me all season, it’s the least I could do. (Suddenly both notice Fang slowly approaching them) …man I hate timing!

Duncan/Courtney/Cameron: Gwen! Zoey!

(Cut to underwater, where Mal just floats down. Suddenly he gasps, and the camera zooms in on his brain again. We see Mal freefall into a field of brain matter)

Mal: (Gets up and grunts, his eyes widen) huh? (Zoom out to reveal a smoky center… right where Mal’s tower used to be) impossible! …Where’s my tower?!

Mike: (Off-screen) it’s gone, Mal. (Mal turns around, and finds Mike, Chester, and Svetlana standing right behind him) it’s gone for good.

Svetlana: ya, und good riddance to it too!

Mal: no! ...How did you do this?!

Mike: the five of us did something the one you thought we couldn’t do!

(Suddenly, a thought bubble lowers into view; it shows Mike and the four personalities entering a large purple room at the top of the tower, exhausted and Mike piggy-backing Chester. In the center of the room is a red button on a podium)

Vito: (Annoyed) aw, ayo, come on!! We came all dis way for a stupid button!? (Approaches the button and prepares to push it)

Mike: whoa! Careful with that button! We don’t know what it can do!

Chester: ah relax, ya ninny! It’s a self-destruct button!

Vito: whoa, whoa, whoa! you mean if we push dat button, Mike’s brain’s gonna blow up!??!

Chester: (Face palms) no, ya salami head! Mike’s brain doesn’t blow up, the tower does!

Mike: he put a self-destruct button in his tower? …Wow, that is so cheesy! (Eyes widen in realization) wait… if the tower blows up, does that mean…

Manitoba: (Smirking) bingo, mate! No tower, no more power for Mal. Then next time someone knocks him out, he comes back here and…

Svetlana: zen horrah! Mike iz in charge again!

Mike: (Clears throat, then starts shouting) DAAAAWN!!!! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, YOU GOTTA KNOCK MAL OUT SO I CAN GET CONTROL BACK!!! HURRY!!

Chester: (Cringes from the volume, rubs his ear) nya, was that really necessary!?

Mike: if it gets the message to Dawn to give to the others, definitely!

Chester: (Slides off Mike’s back) alright ladies, enough of your blubbering; let’s do this already!

(All five personalities put their hands together on top of the button)

Manitoba: (Winks at Mike) glad to have you back in charge, bossman.

Mike: thank you, guys… thank you.

(All five of them press the button; the top of Mal’s tower glows bright purple, and then explodes. After the flashback ends, the dream bubble floats away)

Chester: (Chuckles, glaring at Mal) that’s what ya get, ya ornery little whippersnapper!

Mal: (Growling) you… YOUU…. (He roars and charges straight at the three. But suddenly a lasso wraps itself around Mal) what the!? (Mal looks back, and sees Manitoba and Vito holding the lasso) you two! Let me go, NOW!

Manitoba: (Smirking) looove to, Mate. But Mike’s in charge again. And his orders; you can’t bully us, OR torture his mates outside anymore, ya slippery blue tongue! (Wraps the lasso around Mal’s arms, rendering them immovable)

Vito: and don’t worry, we got youse a brand new cell so you can’t bother nobody anymore.

Mal: what?! (Manitoba and Vito grab him by the arms; he looks pleadingly to Mike) no… uh, d-don’t do this! No one will ever cross you with me in charge! I’m a part of you.

Mike: (Without sympathy) yep, a part of me that I don’t need anymore. Goodbye, Mal. (Walks away, not looking back)

Manitoba: (Smirking at Mal) let’s go, ya skeezey dingo! (He and Vito start dragging Mal away)

Mal: no… NO! It’s MY TIME!!! (Screams louder as he is dragged off in the distance) MIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!

(Suddenly, Gwen and Zoey’s screams are heard, echoing throughout Mike’s head. Cut back to reality, Fang is now looming menacingly over Gwen and Zoey; he roars at them. Just as he looks like he’s about to take a bite out of them, Mike (Back in control) rises from the water and delivers a blow right into Fang’s face. Fang is sent flying, and one of his teeth spins in the air; Mike catches it and scoots closer to Zoey)

Gwen: whoa! Careful, Zoey; there’s no telling who THIS ONE is.

Zoey: (In disbelief) Mike… is it really you? (Suspicious) like REALLY, really?

Mike: it’s me, Zoey. Mal’s gone, hopefully for good this time!

(Confessional: Zoey)

Zoey: (Nervously) I wanna believe him, but can I? CAN I?!

(Confessional ends)

Mike: (Notices something) hey, where’s the necklace I gave you?

(Confessional: Zoey)

(Zoey squeals loudly in delight)

(Confessional: Noah)

Noah: and now he’s back to plain, boring old Mike again…. (Smiles in relief) THANK GOD!!!!

(Confessional ends)

(At that moment, Zoey just grabs hold of Mike, and pulls him into a deep and passionate kiss. When they are done, Cameron and Duncan help pull Gwen out of the water, Gwen high-fives them both, while Owen, Noah, and Dawn cheer)

Mike: (Notices the others) Oh man I missed you guys! And I’m super sorry for everything Mal did! Can you ever forgive me? (The others all mumble positive responses)

Owen: (Shrugs) ah, what the heck? COME HERE YOU!!!! (Grabs Mike and pulls him into a backbreaking bear hug, and then lets go of him back in the water)

Mike: And Duncan, as weird as this is gonna sound, thanks for clocking me in the face! You are officially my hero!

Duncan: (Growls) I am NOT A…. (Sighs, defeated) fine, so I’m a hero.

Gwen: (Snickers) hottest hero ever.

Duncan: (Smirks) yeah? Well hottest VILLAIN ever.

Gwen: (Glares) don’t push it. (They both smile at each other)

Alejandro: (By now, he and Heather were both on the same level as the others; Alejandro holds Heather romantically, they both look at each other) love is a fine, fine thing.

(An annoyed Chris flies up on his jetpack)

Chris: that’s it! This is the finale! It’s about pain and betrayal… and PAIN! Not hugs and kissing… PAAAAAIN!!!!!

Noah: wow, drama queen much?

(Dawn giggles… and then she and Noah lean in for a kiss. Following them, Alejandro and Heather kiss, then Mike and Zoey, Gwen shrugs and plants a kiss on Cameron’s cheek; Cameron looks shocked. Duncan clears his throat loudly, and Gwen sheepishly smiles, and then she and Duncan kiss. Cameron realizes he is now next to Courtney, and cringes in fear. Courtney just shrugs and pats Cameron affectionately on the head)

Chris: (Annoyed) that’s it, new rules! Anyone who gets the sword out of the stone wins the $1,000,000!!

Alejandro: (Pulls away from Heather) anyone? (Drops Heather and starts running towards the water, but Heather trips him by grabbing his foot)

Heather: oh no you don’t!!

Gwen: uh-oh.
Cameron: oh boy.

Courtney: anyone? (Shoves Cameron away) move it! (Dives into the water)

Gwen: what the, Courtney!!! We had a deal!

Courtney: sorry, Gwen, but you know I can’t take a chance when opportunity knocks!

Duncan: (Rolls eyes) yep, that figures. (Turns to Gwen) uh, you might wanna hurry up and win, Gwen; cus not even a freight train is gonna stop Courtney!

Gwen: ankle’s still sore, but I’m on it!! (Dives into the water after and starts swimming towards the other side)

Chris: (Smiling mischievously) this is WAAAAY better.

Zoey: (To Mike) looks like it’s game on!

Mike: yep… well for YOU anyway. I’m dropping out.

Zoey: (Shocked) what? Seriously? But what about-

Mike: hey, I got control of my body, AND I’ve got you back; THAT is worth way more than a million dollars!

Zoey: (Touched) aww, Mike.

Mike: you just get up there and win! (Dives back under the water)

Zoey: (Chuckles) you got it! (Notices Gwen right across from her) well, looks like it’s down to you and me, Gwen. You gonna be ok with your ankle?

Gwen: (Smirks) don’t worry about me; you just worry about watching me WIN!

Zoey: (Chuckles) you wish! (They both start swimming in different directions)

(Courtney is getting closer to the shore)

Courtney: (Chuckles) finally! It took me four seasons, but that money is mi- (Suddenly finds herself going backwards) what the- hey?! What’s going on?! (She finds herself rising above the water, being held by the three-eyed bear, which is wearing a snorkel mask) WHAT?! No fair!!! (The bear roars loudly; Duncan just bursts out laughing)

Noah: whoa! When di-

Dawn: the fair beast wished to thank us after I returned its child.

Noah: huh, gotta love nature.

Dawn: ooh, also it hopes that, when we acquire that animal shelter, we may babysit its adorable little offspring. (The bear glares threateningly at Noah)

Noah: (Nervously) uh… sure! Love to. (Gulps)

(Heather and Alejandro are now pulling each other’s hair and pushing against each other, finally they tumble into the water; only to come back up and start shoving each other again)

Cameron: (Trying to sound tough) stop right there! I won’t let you guys through! I’m still with Team Zoey, prize or not!

Duncan: and I just don’t like you guys so…. yeah, you’re done-zo!

Alejandro: (Lets go of Heather, turns towards Duncan and Cam) you really think you and some criminal can stop ME, little one?

Svetlana: (Off-screen, sing-song voice) YOOO-HOOOOOO! (Svetlana leaps onto Alejandro’s shoulders, holding Fang’s tooth) hoo-rah, Svetlana iz back und better zen ever!

(Svetlana gasps, switching back to Mike)

Mike: and I’m back in the driver’s seat for real! (Drops Fang’s tooth into Alejandro’s palm) here, hold this. (Summersaults off) see ya, Cam!

(Alejandro holds the tooth in confusion, and then looks up to see Fang glaring down at him)

Alejandro: uh oh. (Hastily swims away, Fang chasing after him)

Heather: (Pops up from under the water) ha! So long, sucker. (Suddenly, a stick from above falls and conks Heather on the head, causing her to plunge back underwater)

Gwen: (Still climbing up the ladder) woops! My stick slipped, OLD Heather!

(Confessional: Gwen)

Gwen: I’ve been waiting to do that for FOUR seasons! (Gives a squeaky giggle)

(Confessional ends)

(Pan up to the final level, Gwen and Zoey quickly climb up the ladder to the top (Gwen stumbling a bit because of her bad leg). Zoey pops her head up first, only to duck a flying meatball being shot from Chef’s bazooka. Zoey leaps up, dodging more meatballs, and sprints to behind a rock. Chef starts shooting in the other direction just as Gwen pops up. Gwen leaps up from the ladder and lands on her feet, but she squeaks in pain from her bad ankle, and starts limping towards the stone)

Chris: oooh, some impressive maneuvers from both Gwen AND Zoey! (Flies up to Chef on his jetpack) and unimpressive shooting from Chef! (Chef shoots a meatball at Chris, knocking him out of the air)

Duncan: (Pops up from one of the ladder) yoo-hoo! Cheffy! You got aim like my Grandma, dude! (Chef growls and starts firing towards Duncan; Duncan moves his head to avoid the blasts)

(Gwen slowly limps over to the stone, until she trips and falls. But before she can hit the ground, she grips onto the sword)

Gwen: (Notices the sword and gasps, forces herself to stand upright) just… wanna… end this! (Grunts as she starts tugging on the sword)

Zoey: (Peeks up from behind the rock and gasps) oh… come on, Gwen. You can do this!!!

(Gwen keeps tugging until finally… the sword comes loose from the stone! Gwen holds the sword over her head and gasps)

Chris: (Walks up to Gwen with the million dollar case) gasp indeed… Gwen wins the Million Dollars!!

Gwen: (In disbelief) I… I won? …I WON!!!!

Duncan: (Running up to Gwen; cheers loudly) I knew you could do it, babe! Whoo-hoo-hoo… (Suddenly gets hit by another meatball)

Chef: (Chuckles, then clears his throat nervously) I was just cleaning it, and it went off. (Duncan cleans off the meatball, and wraps his arms around Gwen. Zoey does the same)

Zoey: oh, Gwen! I’m so proud of you! You did it!

(The others are all walk up to Gwen, cheering as well)

Courtney: way to go, Gwen!

Cameron: you deserved it!

(Suddenly a louder cheer is heard from the distance. Chris pulls out a pair of binoculars and looks, in the distance can be seen the rest of the cast from the Aftermath; including the seven contestants from the balloons, safe and sound, and a fully back-to-normal Ezekiel)

Chris: huh, looks like every Goth has her day, Gwen. Even your peeps from the aftermath came all the way out here to cheer for the weird-Goth-girl-turned-boyfriend-kisser-turned-All-Star! (Gwen’s mouth hangs agape for a few seconds, then she smiles as her eyes start to water a bit)

Mike: so Gwen; now that you’re a millionaire, what’re you gonna do first?

Gwen: (Wipes her eyes) well first, there’s one thing I’ve wanted to do all season. (She hobbles over to the million dollar case, picks it up, pulls it back, and then swings it… right into Chris’ kiwis)

Chris: AIIIIEEECUCARACHA!!! (Grabs onto his kiwis and falls to the ground, holding them in pain; speaks in a squeaky voice) so THAT’S what it feels like!

Gwen: THAT’S for all the crap you’ve put us through all… forever! (The contestants all laugh at Chris’ pain) and, hear this; NO WAY am I, or ANY OF US, EVER coming back to this dump again!

Duncan: (Wraps his arm around her shoulder) THAT’S my girl. (They both smile at each other… when the island starts rumbling, steam coming out of the hole in the stone)

Chris: um… what’s going on?

Noah: uh… Chef, just a little question, what’d you use to drill these moats?

Chef: a fracking machine.

Gwen: whoa! You can’t say that on TV!

Cameron: a fracking machine is a hydraulic drill! …YOU CAN’T USE IT ON AN ISLAND THIS SMALL; IT’S DANGEROUS!!!!

Chris: (Nervously) why? Wha-what could happen? (Water starts gushing out of the stone like a geyser)

Noah: THAT could happen, you idiot!!!

Cameron: THE ISLAND IS SINKING!!!

(Everyone starts screaming and running around; suddenly Izzy swoops in and lands on top with the others)

Izzy: (Oblivious to the chaos) hey guys! (Cackles; notices the geyser) huh? What I miss?

(Cut to the dock of shame, where the yeti walks towards the Flush of Shame, holding a newspaper and whistling. Suddenly, water comes gushing out of the toilet; pretty soon water is gushing out of the Confessional, the mine, even the rocks and trees from the ground. The animals all run for their lives, excluding one squirrel who holds up a sign with a picture of a broken earth, cackling insanely. Water bursts out of the mess hall, the interns floating on one table. The butler plays a violin on the spa hotel patio, as water washes over it. Finally, pan out to the whole island, as it sinks straight into the ocean. Miscellaneous objects float away; Chef just sips his coffee cup as he floats on a rubber duck. Heather and Alejandro pop up from underwater)

Heather: cheated out of a million bucks… AGAIN! I hate this show!!

Alejandro: (Calm) but, we have the greatest consolation prize of all… each other.

Heather: (Annoyed) great… JUUUUUST great. (Fang pops up as well; the two swim off as Fang chases them)

(The top of a cabin floats by, with Duncan, Gwen, Mike, Zoey, Cameron, Courtney, and the case riding on top)

Duncan: (Laughs wildly) WHOO-HOOO!!! That was awesome!!! We GOTTA do that again NEXT season!

Gwen/Mike/Zoey/Cameron/Courtney: (Annoyed) No!

Chris: (Floats by on top of the confessional) well, that’s it for our very first All-Star season. But don’t worry; we’re coming back with a brand new cast! And I guess a brand new island too. (Chuckles) until next time, I’m Chris McLean, and this has been Total Drama… (A Chris invincibility statue falls from the sky and strikes Chris on the head, causing him to fall unconscious. The contestants on the cabin roof laugh at this; followed by the cast on the Aftermath yacht, as it comes around and stops next to the cabin)

Bridgette: another awesome season, guys! Now let’s get out of here; you’re all gonna be a part of an awesome wedding! (Smiles lovingly at Geoff)

Geoff: true that, babe! Followed by a WICKED WEDDING/SEASON FIVE WRAP-UP PAR-TAY!!!!! (The cabin cast cheers loudly)

Brick: (Notices something) wait a minute. …Has anyone seen Owen or the others?

(Right there, the Boat of Losers comes sailing past, carrying all the animals off the island. Right at the tow is Owen on water-skis, with Noah, Izzy, and Dawn on his shoulders)

Owen: look, Ma, we’re water-skiing! (Suddenly trips, causing all four to fall right into the water. They pop back up and Owen chuckles) THAT was awesome!

Gwen: (Chuckles) come on, party-boy; we got a wedding/wrap-up party to get to.

Owen: WHOO-HOO!
Noah: Nice!

Izzy: Be there in a minute! (She and Dawn smile mischievously, looking at their boyfriends) but first…

Owen/Noah: (Nervous) uh oh.

(Izzy and Dawn grab their boyfriends’ heads and pull them into passionate kisses, causing both couples to sink underwater. Owen and Noah’s arms shoot upward, and high-five each other)

(End Credits)